Q&A Dealing with Rejection
Hello, I’m a senior in high school who just applied ED to my top choice. Dec. 15th is coming up very shortly, and I’m a bit nervous about the decision. I don’t feel like I am alone having this thought, and I feel a bit lost as to how to proceed if I don’t get in to my top choice ED. My friends are telling me to smoke pot to calm nerves as it is something typical that college kids do. However, I would feel more comfortable getting a response from experts like you. What should I do??
Thanks so much for reaching out to us! You are most certainly not alone in how you’re feeling. The most important thing to remember is that there is no perfect college. There are so many colleges out there that can be a great fit for you. Once you get to college, you’ve got to suck all of the resources dry and make it a great place for you.
And don’t let yourself get too down if you hear bad news. Getting denied from one college does not mean that you aren’t an excellent, highly qualified applicant. Harvard admitted that well over half of their applicants are qualified for admission. They have to split hairs to narrow down the rest of their class. Leading experts have called admissions a complete lottery.
Now of course getting denied from a first choice college is disappointing. But there are a number of steps you can take to stay calm:
- Remind yourself that there are lots of colleges where you can be happy Again, there’s no one perfect college. Spend your time getting excited about the dozens of other colleges out there that can provide you a wonderfully fulfilling education. If you want more help finding colleges to get excited about, leave us a comment and we’ll work with you!
- You are not a statistic A college decision says nothing about who you are as a person. Again, there is so much luck involved in the process. You were the same person before and after the decision. Successful people are successful because of their ability to be resilient and overcome obstacles.
- Deferral does not mean rejection If you’re deferred, don’t let it get you down. The college wouldn’t defer you if they didn’t think you had a chance in regular decision. Be sure though to continue demonstrating your interest to the college and update them with any new achievements or accomplishments.
- Choose healthy stress reducers Exercise. Cook your favorite dinner. Meditate. Journal. Talk to a friend. Take a walk outside. Learn a new craft. Read a great book. Go to an awesome movie. Watch a marathon on TV. There are so many different healthy ways to cope with stress. Bad news is just one little blip in your life that will not determine your success or failure in the future. President Obama was rejected from Swarthmore but that obviously hasn’t limited his success.
- Disappointment is temporary This too shall pass might sound annoying, but it’s really true. While the upset might seem completely insurmountable at first, trust yourself that the feelings will ware off. You’ll get excited about all of your new college prospects soon enough.
I’m really happy that you acknowledge that your friends’ advice probably isn’t best. Drugs are not an effective way to deal with your problems and you shouldn’t let friends, no matter how well intentioned convince you of that. Hope these other calming strategies help!
Have any more advice? Let us know in the comment box below.